How to Shine in Your Life
How to Shine in a Job Interview
by Steve Errey
Does the idea of interviewing for a new job put you on edge or scare the living daylights out of you? Does it make you want to stay under the duvet and hide?
You’re not alone. There’s a lot riding on landing that job whether you’re currently unemployed or not, particularly in the current climate. Here are 9 ways to give a naturally confident interview that really allows you to shine.
1. Don’t Over-Prepare
You certainly need to know your stuff before heading into that interview room, but whatever you do, don’t over-prepare. You need to know your onions (so to speak) as well as having some knowledge about the company’s products, services, market position, opportunities, etc, but preparing answers for every possible question and memorizing every fact will drive you crazy and make you ultra-nervous.
Knowing your subject isn’t a case of simply repeating information verbatim, and if you go to an interview planning on spouting facts and figures there’s a risk that you’ll sound too rehearsed or stilted.
Interviewers want to see how well you think on your feet as well as how knowledgeable you are, so leave room to move. You don’t have to be word perfect, you don’t need to know everything or have a slick answer for every question. Trust yourself to shoot from the hip.
2. Don’t sweat it
Focusing on the things that make you nervous will only ever give you more drama, and that’s exactly what you don’t need.
Yes, interviews can be nerve-wracking, but it’s okay to be nervous. If you weren’t nervous it would mean you didn’t care, so how about finding a better way for you to care about this? How about directing that energy in a more useful way to up your game? How about using that nervous energy to demonstrate your enthusiasm and energy?
Remember, the simple fact that you’ve been invited to interview means that they’re interested in talking to you and think you might be right for the job. That’s a good thing, right?
What difference would it make if you knew that whatever decision they make is just fine, that no matter what happens it’s no reflection on you or your ability? Shifting how you perceive the risks of the interview can feel pretty liberating, allowing you to shine.
3. Blow Your Own Trumpet
You have to blow your own trumpet to show how much you can add to an organization. Fail to do that effectively and it’s game over.
So get clear on what your strengths are – the skills, talents and experience you’ve applied in the past to get great results. Get clear on what you’ve achieved and your role in those achievements. Get clear on how capable you are, and how you want to continue to develop your capability.
That’s the information and evidence they’re looking for.
4. Don’t jump into the first chair you see.
Don't grab the first chair you see - try to sit across or diagonally from the interviewer.
Don’t rush into the room and grab the first chair you see – it’s not a competition. Let the interviewer find their place first. If you’re in a meeting room don’t sit next to them on the same side of the table, and don’t automatically sit directly opposite them. If you can, try to sit diagonally from them – it provides a good space between you but doesn’t act like a wall.
5. Don’t go in just 1 direction
Go down a single track during your interview and talk about one area of skill or experience and it could easily leave a big enough gap in the interviewers’ mind to wonder if you’re the best candidate. Show a range of skills and experience, and show that you can get on with people as well as tasks.
But going in 1 direction isn’t only about what skills and experience you choose to show and tell, it’s about what you need from the interviewer.
An interview has to be a 2-way street to avoid miscalculations of culture and fit. It’s a process to see how well you fit in the role and the organization, and if the role and organization is a good fit for you. It’s not simply about the interviewer pulling out the information they need to make their decisions, you need to get the information you need to make your decision.
6. Smile
I’ve interviewed a good number of people in my past, and there was always one thing that made a candidate stand out head and shoulders above the rest – the fact that they were enjoying themselves, not just in the interview but generally in their life.
An interviewer doesn’t want a one-dimensional person, and often the personality of the candidate can override any weakness in skill or experience.
So don’t think that you can’t enjoy an interview. If you look like the interview is torture or if you’re just generally down-beat, you won’t get hired. Simple as. If you’re enjoying and engaging with what you’re doing and where you are, it speaks volumes.
Smile. (Just not too much that you look like a grinning maniac).
7. Leave your "stuff" outside
Carrying any uncertainty, doubt or problems into the interview with you will limit your ability to interview well, so put that all to one side before you start.
Picture the interview room as a safe place with people who want you to get the job, and remember that the interviewer wants to see the best of you, not the worst. They’re on your side.
8. Don’t let your body talk for you
What you don't say, says a lot about you.
If your shoulders are hunched, you’re slouched in your seat, you’re wringing your hands, continually scratching your head or if your eyes are darting around the room then your body language will be screaming “Danger!” loud and clear.
Having a relaxed but confident body language communicates a relaxed and confident individual. You’re free to move in your seat and use your hands to demonstrate key points, just watch you’re not waving your arms around like you’re swiping away fruit flies.
Remember eye contact too – it’s about building rapport and connecting with people. Without eye contact there’s no connection, so be sure to look your interviewers in the eye as the interview progresses. Like everything, there’s a balance to be struck, so don’t stare fixedly at your interviewer like a wired Will Ferrell, this isn’t a Saturday Night Live skit.
9. Embellish and polish
There’s a saying that suggests that an interview is 2 people in a room lying to each other. Some interviews might be like that, but not the ones that end up with a great deal for everyone. Don’t lie. It’s like dressing a cow in a duck costume and asking it to quack – it’s not going to fool anyone.
But while you shouldn’t lie there’s nothing wrong with a little polish or embellishment. Tell them how proud you were of a team achievement. Don’t cover up a weakness or failing but spin it into an important lesson learned. Show them how darn excited you were to get involved in a particular project.
This doesn’t mean that you’re misrepresenting yourself, it simply means that you’re selling yourself and giving a great interview.
Happiness Isn’t About How Much You Have, But How Much You Enjoy Life
by Sheba Leung
Many of us believe that the more we have, the happier we are. But is it really the truth?
As economy develops, we seems to be able to live a better life. Earning money to buy the things that we desire, that’s how it goes. But do these material possessions always guarantee long-lasting happiness?
There might be a time that you have been saving money to buy yourself something, like a new gadget, a luxury car, or a grand apartment. Yes, you might be uplifted at the moment but the delight never lasts. The happiness recedes after a day, a week, a month, a year, or a decade. The new gadget will become old, the luxury car will depreciate, the grand apartment will become boring.
The truth is that although we have much more than the previous generations do, we are not happy as we are supposed to be.
Probably we have fallen into traps which keep us away from the long-lasting happiness that we have been chasing for throughout our lives. Check if you have fallen into one of these 3 traps and try to get rid of them:
We play hard but become slaves of desires
There is a kind of people who always play hard and sometimes we call them the hedonist. The hedonists always strive to maximize pleasure and hunt for excitement to satisfy their desires without realizing the negative side of their behaviors. They only look for pleasure and try to escape from pain. It is not uncommon that they would gradually become the slaves of desires with only vanity left after the excitement fades away.
We work hard but suffer from the pain
The busy bee is the exact opposite of the hedonist. They work hard in exchange for more material possessions. They look for the pleasure that comes in the future but suffer from the present pain. They do not realize that they are just running on a treadmill, running hard but only marking time. Ironically, the material possessions that they work hard for can only give them temporary happiness.
We do nothing hard but lose the passion of life and the hope of future
Then, you might think that it is better not to play hard or work hard. However, being a nihilist can neither guarantee you long-lasting happiness. Being a nihilist is the worst case because the nihilists believe that life is meaningless. They do not enjoy what they have got at the moment, nor do they have any hope for the future. Without passion and hope, one can hardly have feel any kind of happiness.
We spend years living our lives on this planet and it would be a pity if we cannot get a taste of what it is like to be truly happy. Easy come, easy go. The long-lasting happiness that keeps us living our lives passionately is something that worth us spending time to build. There is something we can do to pursue the happiness that lasts a lifetime.
1. Capture and collect positive emotions
Capture your happy moments every day.
To put it simply, the more positive emotions you capture in a day, the more likely your happiness sustains.
Positive emotions are not limited to joy and excitement. Psychologists say that positive emotions also include joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love. [1] These positive emotions can broaden and build our long-lasting psychological, intellectual, physical and social resources which increase our well-beings.
Try to capture and collect your positive emotions every day. Keep a diary or take some photos. Instead of recording what happens, describe how you feel is rather more important. This will build your psychological resource and one day it will remind you what kinds of positive emotions you have experienced.
2. Engage with what you do
Wanderers with no goals often feel unhappy. They disconnect with the world and tend to be over-absorbed in their emotions or abstract, unexplainable thoughts. They are on a road to nowhere.
But instead, if we are more present in our lives and feel engaged with whatever we do or say, we can feel more grounded and happier. Being engaged prevents your mind from wandering and stops you from overthinking too much. On the other hand, when you are engaged in something, maybe your job or your hobby, you work for improvement and accomplishment. The pleasure of eventually achieving something gives you the feeling of pride and also makes whatever you are doing meaningful.
3. Derive meaning from everything you do
If we can’t find any meaning in what we do, we tend to have a sense of loss, thinking that we have wasted our time and energy. It is just like the nihilists who think life is meaningless and a waste of time.
Frankly, there are some times that we really find something meaningless. Those things that are supposed to disappoint or frustrate us are exactly what keep us from the long-lasting happiness. Try to derive meaning from them and think in the other way round. Losing a competition might be a chance for you to realize your room for improvement; failing in a interview might be a chance for you to look for a better opportunity.
4. Build in-depth relationships with others
An in-depth relationship makes you feel fearless.
We always need some kinds of connections with people, friends, families, and lovers. But what makes us feel satisfied from relationships is not the quantity but the quality.
Some might be satisfied with the fame but it is only the vanity. An in-depth relationship is a totally different story. It allows you to open up your mind fearlessly. You can have deep chats with your friends, hearing their stories and telling yours. You do not only gain practical support but also emotional supports from them. There is nothing better than being deeply known by someone who knows you better than yourself and speaks your mind.
5. Broaden your definitions of success
Success is not only about winning a game or trumping others. It can mean completing things you want to do or should do. It can be small or big, which does not really matter. It can be as simple as finishing a small task on your work. Sometimes people judge and they define the meaning of success as numbers. But bear in mind that you are the only one who can define your success.
And by celebrating your accomplishments, even the smallest ones, every day can make you happier. Just because of finishing a small task on your work, you can celebrate it by giving yourself a little treat. It is the mark showing that you are capable of achieving something and giving you a sense of pride.
Be happy and shine like a diamond
Happiness is sometimes a very abstract idea and we might be lost on the road to the long-lasting happiness. The pursuit of happiness is a lifelong lesson that we all have to take. But once you and I get the clues, we will all shine like a diamond, with an everlasting shiny light that everyone would admire.